• miller.becky

Reconcile: Our Principles Defined

In the end, reconciliation is a spiritual process, which requires more than just a legal framework. It has to happen in the hearts and minds of people.
- Nelson Mandela

Love, be it romantic or platonic, is not created in a vacuum. It requires another human being. So too, reconciliation is achieved in the company of proximity; but not mere proximity. Proximity must contain relational building blocks to create true reconciliation: Understanding, forgiveness, relating, healing, and connection. Reconciliation is approaching the other in good faith, anticipating, searching for, and assisting the growth of the very best attributes of the other. These relational building blocks do not reconciliation make. They do, however, pave the way for reconciliation to occur. The building blocks contain much personal work in order to prepare the heart to engage the other. Reconciliation, on the other hand, is a two player game. There is no reconciliation without a jousting partner.


Reconciliation restores harmony. The word harmony rings so true due to the poignancy of the musical term. Harmony is a variety of different notes that create an overall pleasing sound. Reconciliation is the harmony of so many different personal experiences coming together into a beautiful song. In relational realms, harmony brings together the beautiful notes of understanding, forgiveness, and healing in one’s own story with those same attributes in the stories of another. It is coming to the stage with growth and tenderness, ready to play a duet.


For those of you who remember the hours of practice and the thousands of sour notes from your musical endeavors, I can offer the assurance that this journey of reconciliation is just as long and painful. There are new things to learn, old things that must be forgotten, callouses that must be built, and tenderness and attunement that must be honed. It is no easy thing to learn to harmonize with another. It requires a letting go, and a picking up; a dichotomy that must be worked out in the dyad. Reconciliation contains no formula beyond continued work to understand, repentance and forgiveness, seeking intentional relationship, allowing for and actively working towards healing, and making points of connection - no matter the rejection that continues its efforts to thwart the harmony of reconciliation. Reconciliation is creating relationship where it was once broken, carrying the possibility that once mended, this relationship might be even stronger than it once was; the dissonance of a minor cord resolving into the pleasing tones of the triumphant major chords.

We are aware of the magnitude of this subject matter and the inadequate brevity of this post. For more, please reference our podcasts, our 1Community groups, or feel free to email us at Uniquelythesame@mission1race.org.

We also wish to address our inability to consider issues of sexual, physical, emotional and spiritual abuse in our discussions on developing oneness. If you are in an abusive situation of any kind, we encourage you to seek professional or other help, and to realize that this content does not necessarily apply to your situation.

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